Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
