Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
