Say something about gay babies.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
