Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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