So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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