He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
