He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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