I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I need help removing her.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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