Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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