in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
