Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Randomize
