Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
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