Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
