I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
foreskin is a definite game changer
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
