I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
