last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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