Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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