i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
