Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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