I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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