Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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