I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize