I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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