I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
