How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
