I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Randomize
