I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
