I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
