I think I am morally bankrupt
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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