I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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