he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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