I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
