You made me cry and you don't even care
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
