Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
