i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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