Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
