Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
