I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
