I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
