She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
