paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
