im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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