No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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