Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
