direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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