why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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