so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
