Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Houston, we have a squirter
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
