**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
