All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
