Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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