They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
