I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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