i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize