he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
