It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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