You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
