Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize