hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
