he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
