Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Congratulations! We have a period
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