I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
