We're facebook friends in real life
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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